He guides us
And pushes things along the way
Long forgotten tasks are brought to mind each day
He gently shows us how to go
About the task on hand
And even if we don’t know it
Shows us the way each day.
We may not think about Him
or remember him at all
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But He is there behind it
Standing firm and tall
Looking down His universe
Moving things in ways He knows
Will help us to face things every day.
He is there behind me
Supporting me and guiding me
To help face the reality
Staring me every day.
Today I went to my tailor who hadn’t kept my shirt ready. So I walked down the road. I came upon a Homeopathic pharmacy and walked in. I hope the new therapy works because I am changing into a monster I don’t want to be. I have tried medication, counselling, prayer, yoga, long walks, sleeping pills but nothing seems to work. I have visited astrologers and charlatans visited temples and laid bare my soul to strangers. I have tried it all but nothing fills the deep void in my heart. Nothing helps the pain which comes again and again.
My family thinks I’m being self indulgent – and perhaps they are right. I have everything one can ask for in generous measure too. I even have the luxury of hours of contemplation. So why am I so sad? When will my sorrow heal? When will my anger go? When will my life become my own again?
I do not want to be the person I am becoming – a self indulgent monster, a creature wallowing in self pity.
I should not forget my life is not my own to do as I please. I am not living in a bubble an isolated island where all that matters is ME and ME and ME and ME.