So Y is for YOGA what else?
I’ve been doing Yoga on and off (more off than on ) for more than thirty years. Sorry mom for confessing my vintage on the net because I know that makes your friends figure out how old you are! But honestly, if I don’t look my age, it’s because of the Yoga that I do erratically.
Which leads me to wonder how young I’d look if I did it religiously every day? As old as my two year old grandson? That’s not only possible but ridiculous so perhaps it is just as well that my Yoga practice is sporadic. Very often, I find myself stretching in bed for an extra half hour rather than leaping out and into my Yoga pants for a real Yoga stretch. Now that’s a real shame because apart from the exercise, Yoga class often provides me with a laugh.
For some strange reason, Yoga teachers have a strange way of describing body parts and explaining anatomical features in our body. For instance have you heard of the frontal spine and skin of the inner thigh? Or the eye of the elbow? Our teachers tell us to go with the flow and let the cells breathe in and out…. instructions, I often find it hard to figure out what exactly they want us to do. In one particular Yoga class, the master’s peculiar grammar, horrendous pronunciation and strange description of body parts made it difficult to do the Camel Pose.
“Sit in Vajrasan” the Master thundered. “Then stand on your knees and bend to the back of the side till your hands touch the hills” (where are the hills ? oh , he meant heels,I realised and dug them into the mat)
“Now slowly slowly slowly and rhythamically bend to the back of the side and raise your left hand to the ceiling side. Then push the pelvis in the front of the side and throw your head back, hand by the ear of the left of the side and keep your tits together. Then slowly slowly breathe in and slowly slowly breathe out. Keep this position for twolve counts.”
(I was confused now – how could I keep my tits together with my chest thrust out? A few seconds later the penny dropped and I realised he was talking about the teeth. While throwing the head back we had to make sure that the jaw was shut tightly and not agape)
I took four more than the deep breaths required in a herculean effort to keep myself from convulsing in laughter. Needless to say anytime I think of the Camel Pose, I remember to keep my jaw firmly shut and my tits together.
p.s. Mis-spelt words are how the words are actually pronounced by the Master.