Yipee! I’ve made it to a WOW Post after a long long time
The three stages of love
Valentine’s it seems has become a very Indian festival. Yesterday, I was walking down the road behind two houseboys and couldn’t help overhearing their conversation. One boy told the other that he was going to ask for leave for the 14th. and gave him a leery wink. A third fellow who was obviously new to the city asked them why. They looked at the yokel and said ” Arre woh toh Valentin din hain na? Toh holiday lena hi padega”. Obviously the tradition of declaring one’s love on Valentine’s day would have not met the approval of their khaap panchayats, but for our young lads away from the peering eyes of their nosy neighbours, Valentine’s was a way for them to express their secret love to the women they desired.
While I personally feel this is a highly over rated, highly over hyped and totally commercialised festival, it would be nice to take some time off from the daily grind and indulge in some romantic fantasy.
The first move
Telling someone you love them is a very tricky business. There is always the chance of being re-buffed and worse still laughed at. Most people are wary of taking the first step, but here I thought of three unique ways with which you can spend time together in the hope that some love may blossom and flourish.
Joining up for a class such as cooking/painting/dancing is a great way for you to get to know each other.
Invite him/her to take a bus ride/bicycle ride/ train ride or even a plain walk through parts of the city you both don’t know. Get to know each other in the process.
There’s really nothing to replaces flowers and wine is there? But you could do this with a twist – visit a vineyard and taste the wines in situ or walk through a meadow and pick up your own wildflowers to make a bouquet. If there are no meadows around, wander through a botanical garden or flower market and show off your knowledge of botany with knowledge of each bloom.
If you’ve already passed the first stage and are in the second phase of your relationship, it is time to take it further. But before you actually put the ring on her finger, it is time to test your relationship – can it withstand any change in the narrative.
Children always alter a relationship and it would be worthwhile testing his tolerance level to children ( even if you both decide you hate them and don’t want them). Similarly, he might want to check out her reaction to kids so it would be worthwhile babysitting your sister’s/brother’s/ best friends children ( preferably still in the diaper and feeding bottle stage) and see how they last out. The added advantage of this would be to give the poor parents a break and allow them to enjoy their Valentine’s Day too!
If you think your boyfriend of today is a companion for every movie, concert, gallery showing or even meeting your friends, think again. To really test his level/patience take him for a movie/lunch with your pesky aunt. She can be subjected to a similar exercise – interchanging the movie with a distinctly male activity like a cricket match.
Another way to test your love’s patience is to go shopping for someone else. This is a completely tedious task which is the ultimate test of how empathetic a person is – does he really care for a perfect stranger or is he completely indifferent?
With the ring on her finger
Finally, once you are married, love literally flies out of the window. But it doesn’t really have to be this way.
Go for a staycation i.e. is a holiday in your own city so that you don’t have to spend time and money travelling . Use that together time to relax by the poolside, enjoy the spa treatment, wander through the shops and basically just have your time together.
If going on a staycation is not possible, get rid of the children for the day. Send them off to the grandparents, give the servants a holiday and just spend the day watching romantic movies, eating pop corn and chocolate and going with the flow.
Lastly, go for a romantic sunset cruise if possible – either on the river or in the sea.
Here’s my cheat sheet to help remind you of the three stages of love.
But whether you want to celebrate this festival or not, feel the love and be blessed.