The dilemma of a working mom
As a mother to a 15 month old, a working mother who constantly worries that she isn’t spending much time with baby and a nerd, I’m always scouting the internet for parenting styles and methods. One approach I found popular in Singapore was RIE/respectful parenting by Magda Gerber. When Ms Papaya was born in Korea, I would often chat with my 2 mommy friends (1 Indian and 1 American) on the different child rearing methods – one used sleep training, while one was co-sleeping.
I also found various articles about French parenting (more strict, less child focused, and resulted in more analytical, obedient children) vs. American parenting (very child focused, with children “running” their parents’ lives). Think “Bringing up Bebe by Pamela
As I absorb these various insights, I also instinctively drew upon some Indian traditions when bringing up Ms Papaya – my family’s obsession with cleanliness, doing namaskar, action songs in Marathi, and letting the child play with Vati Chamcha (spoon and bowl). However, I realized that these practices varied from family to family and within communities too. I have Indian friends who let their 15 month olds sleep at 10 p.m. because otherwise they won’t see them. I have some who drag their babies to all dinner parties so they are “together”. Generally, most of my Indian friends span the spectrum of parenting toddlers: some adhere to a schedule, others are more lassaiz faire. So it got me thinking – what is the Indian parenting style? Does one even exist?
I found this lovely blog post by an expat mom in New Delhi – on the 12 surprising things about parenting in India:
These were great observations.
I realize that Indian values exist; and that Indian parents impart those to children: working hard, respecting elders, being conservative. But I think the means to achieve this vary: a rare minority choose not to keep a maid, some keep only English speaking maids, others follow a strict schedule, while others have to toe their mother-in-law’s line.
What do you think?
I’d love to hear your thoughts on whether there is a distinct style of Indian Parenting, and what you think it is?
Does it vary by socioeconomic levels? Does it vary by communities?
Does it vary by generations?
Disclaimer: I am a millennial mom
So what kind of a parent are you?
For all you yummy mummies out there, the Itinerant Mother shares some interesting thought on parenting.
How much of parenting is universal? And how much of it is culturally determined ?
Mate mothers today more hyper? More informed? More caring?
Let’s hear it from you!