Advice to a girl who is marrying for love #FridayReflections

“Mom I’m getting married”.

After years of being prepared for such a statement, a parent’s blood runs cold when these words are finally spoken.

Your baby has finally grown up! It’s time to really face up to the fact that finally your job is done . Your baby is now someone else’s baby!

I remember very clearly when I’d gone to the Municipal Ward to register Anna Shetty’s marriage, there was a young couple who was obviously there for the same reason. It seemed that the young lady wasn’t very sure what the answers should be because she asked me for help with filling the form.

When it came to the question of describing “what kind of marriage ?” she responded spontaneously- “love marriage”.

I couldn’t help smile at her naïveté.

Don’t we all marry for love ?

There are various reasons why we get married.

Some for the love of money.

Some for the sake of love.

And some for the love of freedom- the freedom to get away from the present life .

Little One , I wanted to tell her :

Are you sure this man is right for you ? The man you profess to love ?

Will he look after you the way you’ve been looked after, like daddy’s precious little girl?

Are you sure he loves his mom and respects her too ? For that’s the way he’ll care for you.

will he get you tea in bed_

Will he get you tea in bed or expect you to wait on him hand and foot ?

Does he dream with you and encourage you to live your dreams the way he expects you to help him live his ?

And have you thought hard about growing old ? Will he hold your hand when it’s no longer smooth and wrinkle free?

Will you be there for each other ?

Will he have eyes only for you and not stray when you’re away . Or worse still cheat on you right under your very nose ? Likewise are you sure that he’s the one who forever will be your King of Hearts?

Marriage is not a bed of roses nor is it a crown of thorns . It’s all about giving and taking the good along with the bad .

There are times when your hot air balloon will take you high but from time to time you’ll have to come down . And that’s the time when you have to be sure your love is strong to withstand the winds and thermals.


And when you marry it’s not just him but mummy, daddy and uncle too. For even when your in laws aren’t with you they are always there – looming there in his subconscious.When he’s mad at you, you’re just like YOUR mother but when he loves you madly, you’ll remind him of his beloved granny, aunt or favourite sister !

And remember this if you marry for the love of money , check out to see if it’s really there else you’ll be marrying a fantasy : A castle in the air , a mere shell of what was there.

Because, believe me honey bunny, without the money, life isn’t all that sunny.

So even though you’ve married for love what really matters is the respect and trust that exists between you. The confidence you have in each other for support and understanding. Go for a person who is dependable and rock solid,  who will be the wind beneath your wings.

Image of Bellybytes

Joining up with Shalini and Corinne for #FridayReflections.


A granny who always sees the humour in life and tries to do things differently. When others make cupcakes, this granny makes banana fritters. When she’s not busy chasing her grandchildren who love making her run around, she indulges in her passions of reading, writing, meeting friends and watching movies. And somewhere between all this she enjoys travelling and cooking!

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10 Responses

  1. Akshata says:

    I loved this one Sunita and this wisdom can only come from someone who has seen the good, bad and ugly. I think my reasons for marrying were quite different – it was all about lovey dovey romance but with time and life’s curveballs I have come to realise there are many more pertinent questions one needs to ask oneself before tying the knot.
    Akshata recently posted…Moving on #FridayFictioneersMy Profile

  2. Shilpa Gupte says:

    That’s perfect advice, Sunita!
    Marriage, in the long run, can seem a boring, tedious job, but, one which you cannot quit to look for another!
    Loved it!
    Shilpa Gupte recently posted…The man who shone a spotlight on mental health. #WATWBMy Profile

  3. These are good advices for someone marrying for love because when in love, the couple is soaring high with their heads above the cloudy sky and the clouds blocking their sight of the actual reality down below.
    In love marriages, if the couple is romantic (with each other) then in arranged marriages, the parents are the ones who are romantic (with the ìdea of getting their daughters married to the best groom, into the best family). And why not since they have done the choosing, they know best because they have seen the world. Very soon, the clouds below their face level, here too, dissappears and Mr and Mrs Alice (the parents who were in wonderland) get to see their feet. Reality sinks in. Marriage and life’s truth.

    • Bellybytes says:

      Wow ! That was a real insightful comment on how wrong parents can get too! I loved the mr and Mrs Alice part . Truly parents can goof up big time . But honestly if parents allow the children to check out the people they’ve so carefully selected on their behalf it might be a better kind of arranged marriage

  4. Splendid advice. Marriage is not for wimps and most walk into it with rose-coloured spectacles 😉

  5. Rajlakshmi says:

    Coincidentally, today I am celebrating 10 years of knowing my husband… It’s feels awesome but oldish too ?. I had a roller coaster time trying to convince my parents to agree to our marriage… Hehe total bollywoodish.
    I read somewhere that being in love doesn’t mean you are happy. These questions play a vital role later in life when the rose tinted glasses are off and reality stares back.
    That line about marrying a fantasy… Hahahaha loved it.
    Rajlakshmi recently posted…Girls’ day out in SydneyMy Profile

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