In the lift this evening
Akshay Tritiya which was on the 18th of April this year is supposed to be the hottest day of the year. This day of endless joy and prosperity is considered very auspicious simply because of the celestial positions of the sun and the moon and the stars. It is that time of year when Earth is closest to the sun.
But two days later , there doesn’t seem to be any difference in the distance between the Earth and the sun because the temperature seems to rise as we get deeper into summer.
Since the heat doesn’t melt away the fat that has accumulated round my middle, I decided it was high time to do something about it . Especially since I’d been inspired after reading blog posts from Anami and Bernie on the #AtoZ challenge this year.
All my friends are chronic dieters and the one tip that is frequently shared is to drink lots of water. Some advocate hot water . Some advocate warm water. Some advocate warm water with a squeeze of lime . Some suggest a pinch of cinnamon. Yet others suggest a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar. It doesn’t matter what flavour you prefer . What matters is water .
So I have been diligently drinking lots of water these last two days. I have also been visiting the Gym downstairs and clocking 3 km on the treadmill for around 35 minutes .
Feeling rather pleased with myself, I decided to push boundaries and yesterday I targeted 40 minutes at 5.5km. I had no sooner done 10 minutes than I began to feel the urge to pee.
“Control , control, ” I told myself . It was the best opportunity to do my Kegel exercises at the same time . Besides 30 minutes go by fast enough.
But I hadn’t contended with the excess water I had drunk just before my workout . “Hydrate yourself before a work out ” rang loud in my ears before I put on my trainers.
However, by the 20th minute even Kegel couldn’t help and I quickly rushed out of the gym and waited the interminable wait for the lift to come down 24 floors.
Anyone who has waited for a lift in such a situation can vouch for how long a minute can be. I closed my eyes and looked inward, concentrating on my breath going in and out .
When it became harder to focus on the breath, the lift door miraculously opened . I rushed inside and pressed 23 . Just as the doors were about to shut, in rushed a delivery man, sweat pouring down his face.
He triumphantly pressed 20 and began mopping his face with a smelly handkerchief. I scowled as I realised that my journey would have a stop before I reached home .
I could feel a drip slowly escaping and was hoping I wouldn’t embarrass myself. My dark coloured tracks wouldn’t help in hiding a wet patch that threatened to happen.
I looked upwards and took short deep breaths like I’d been instructed to do by my Lamaze teacher 35 years ago.
By now the lift had crawled up to 10.
Sweaty Man began fanning himself now.
Then he raised his arms upwards and stretched his weary arms. The small space now was suffused with end of day body odour.
I now had to concentrate on two uncomfortable sensations: one in my nose and the other ….
My bladder was threatening to burst.
The lift stopped on 20 and Sweaty Man got out.
Two seconds later I got out .
It was the longest lift ride ever .
Next time I’m not going to hydrate myself , exercise gurus be damned.